Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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