Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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