Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
not ubering you a puppy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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