I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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