Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize