We're like a lot better than the average bears
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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