Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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