my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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