Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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