The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Shame - the story of my life.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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