I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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