I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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