She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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