You really coming over, don't trick.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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