just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
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My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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