dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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