Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize