Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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