You smell like stripper and shame
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize