apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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