Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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