Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize