I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Say something about gay babies.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize