I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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