I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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