Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize