You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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