We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize