She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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