WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
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I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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