Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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