just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize