i permit you to call me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize