i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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