If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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