The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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