Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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