I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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