Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize