then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize