He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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