Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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