Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Farmville is her only friend.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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