I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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