Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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