i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize