so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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