I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize