They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
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I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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