Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize